i feel the winter bearing down on me. it's not the darkness so much as my being alone within it. the cold chills my mood, my summer exuberance; it contains my will and shrinks my ambitions. i sit in a still dark house and try to think of anything to do besides watch tv. when do you decide something is too hard? when do you simply give up?
(it's only october; i shouldn't feel this way yet.)
i am overwhelmed by how much the world needs of me, and how little i seem able to give. how quickly i stop feeling indomitable when the sun leans away from the earth.
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