I did my taxes last night, then went to yoga. Up at 6 to do more yoga, work at 8, evening meeting, home at 9. Yoga, work, and another evening meeting tomorrow. Bowling after work on Friday.
I'm so tired my eyes are blurry. I love being busy but hate not having time to myself. When did I stop reading books for big chunks of time? When did I start having to stay up late just to make time for myself?
In the midst of this, I find myself thriving. I love being busy--I'm so much more productive, on top of things, efficient. But effective? I'm not sure. I'm better at doing clear tasks, but do I have as many good ideas? I doubt it. Less time for day dreaming, dozing, doodling: I become less creative, more automatic, less considerate and deliberate and thorough. I notice less on my bike ride to work, and have a harder time telling someone what I'm working on. I just plow through.
Where is the balance? I always wanted a job that I liked so much, I wanted to take work home with me--but not necessarily to do so. I want to be engaged, firing on all pistons, but without the oil of downtime, it feels like I burn too hot and breakdown. Where is that fine line? How much motor oil do I need?
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